Poster Child

There is no title more fitting than the above one. I am in fact the poster child for diets and weight loss endeavors. I have gone from one extreme to another in an effort to lose weight and have my pre-babies body back. Just about every weight loss pill marketed, I've tried. The latest gadget or fitness tool... Yep that too. Crash diets, fad diets, liquid diets, starve-yourself diets, this cleanse, that cleanse, detox drinks, workout DVDs, books, magazines, and yes even a full body wrap!! Imagine being wrapped head to toe (with only your eyes visible) in ace bandages sitting in a sauna for an hour! WHAT was I thinking? Something should have told me several years ago I was entangled in a vicious cycle and my attitude toward myself wasn't healthy or normal. I never found a happy medium. It was always full force or nothing. When I was dieting I did it like a maniac and was miserable. When I was not dieting, I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it. I'm not on a diet, so who cares if I eat a half dozen donuts, right?! Then I was even more miserable because I was disgusted with how I looked and my sheer laziness to do anything about it. I'm ashamed to say I wanted an easy way out. I didn't want to work for it, I wanted results handed to me. I had no motivation, I had no reasonable goals. I mean who wants to work for 2 months to lose 20 pounds?! I want to lose it by tomorrow! And when I didn't reach my ridiculous goal, I'd kick the diet and workouts to the curb and binge till Monday when I'd start again, only to be disappointed in myself by like Thursday and give up and so has been my life for the last 15 years or so... Only to look in the mirror to despise what I saw. Now if you noticed I wrote the above in the past tense-- not because I have reached my goals and am now happy with my reflection, but because that's how I was and I hope I can move on from that mindset and begin a new journey. A final journey to a new way of thinking about myself and reaching my goals... And not just in weight loss either (but there's another blog for the deeper issues :)) So here I go. I've tossed the ridiculous, impossible goals and replaced them with realistic achievements. I have given up on the idea of there being a miracle pill out there and put in my brain the simple truth that hard work+healthy eating=success. I did the unthinkable and tossed the scale (for now) and now I will measure my loss with inches- and how my clothes fit. I get too hung up on the numbers and they affect my mood drastically. It causes me to stumble, and quit. So I don't have time for it right now... Maybe once a month I will weigh, but right now I know what I want to fit in and I can measure myself with myself and my clothes that once fit. I'm done getting sick looking at pictures from 6 months ago and knowing how much I've gained. I can't go back. It's over. I'm fatter and now I'm gonna do something about it. So I invite you to come along. Follow if you want to join me and want a buddy. Follow if you want some encouragement. Follow if you want to be an encouragement. Follow if you just want to do something and you don't know where to start. I will be posting tried and true recipes following a clean eating lifestyle. I will be posting my workouts and my struggles. I will be posting my inch loss on a weekly basis and each time I drop a size. I have 4-6 sizes to lose to be where I want to be. My first weight loss goal is 20 pounds...which I will not know how much I could move my little snail (slow and steady wins the race!) for at least a month. Who's ready? I know I am!!